Haha... today work morning... nearly late again... actually confirm late one... but while i walking to the busstop, i was thinking to take cab anot, then suddenly the cab appears... yaya, anyhow spend again... fuck up rite... bo bian... i must learn my lesson... tml 6 wake up...
Go back 2 days ago... 28 of may... work morning... saw a guy call david... heard tt he pretty powerful... but small kid la... then heard cheryl say tt he tuesday birthday... call me bring him to garden room pretend take something.... then nvr brief me carefully, so i bring him there just anyhow say loh... call him wait for awhile i go ask clearly wat to bring... then xiao lao po bring us go through kitchen to back area, then we sing birthday song... hehe... watever la... not very close to him... but at least know a friend... then after tt bao bei also 4 o'clock finish, then i wait for her loh... then we go charcoal eat... 66 plus... she pay 50... then actually wanna go c show de... too late... so we go drink coffee loh...12 plus... she pay 10... like most of the money she pay... like sugar mummy... wahaha nvm, next time treat her back... cannot like tt... she say she xing tong i earn money so hard then spend on her... then i not xing tong meh? haiz... after tt... hehe go her house...
Acutally just wanted to send her back but in the end go her house rest... then talk cock... then... hehehehehe... i say i wan tt one...(which one?) then she say cannot, becos i not her bf... she's not so sui bian... then it's simple loh... u know, i can easily counter this loh.... but... erm... i just can't say... arghhh... aiya dun say which one la... end of story i just give a peck on her face la... n she onli lean on my shoulder... tt's it... we nvr do anything funny...wat i wan is a hug from her la... but she dun even wan to give me... haiz... erm... but i can't la... ya i like her... but i can't loh... if she like me enough she will initiate de... but she didn't... n i think i shouldn't force loh... just so simple la... let's nature take it cos la... this is wat i told her... n i already told her, my career is more important... than wasting other time...
Think of the past... eve called me out for drinking yesterday... for wat? u know i dun like drinking... somemore next day working leh... the most important thing is i dun wanna c them... i know it clearly... still not ready ba... erm... someone i used to hug, now hug by my best friend... nnb... dun think can take it ba... wat will happen? dunno, nothing will be wrong, still can be myself... still can smile, but... just felt funny... i'm not easily can let go ba... dunno leh... i dun love her le, n i know i shouldn't n i won't... but the memory will forever be in my mind... i can love someone else liao... maybe i with someone le, c them i dun feel funny ba... but i now haven't love anyone...
Now ah... think i will love some one the way like last time... i use to love her like tt... but i didn't wish her to be happy now... i wish her be happy in the future... but human dun live for long ah... so future is important, but now also very important ba... remember, dun need to use too much force la... important is happy loh... in all ways i will make my next one happy ba... this is wat she write on her last entry of diary... but i'm not happy ah, tt's y, i say she love herself more than me... of cos... fei hua... haiz... i will love my next one, but will not expect n trust her love... just like last time... yaya very luo suo... NG NG...
Haiz... today c bao bei... she like not very happy leh... ask her wat happened she also nvr say... untill the end then i know a bit bit... but dun worry, i support u... wat happen i also will support u de... i wanna c the happy u... promise be happy ok? this is wat u teach me...^_^"