Been working morning today... late....cos really damn tired.... stomach pain also... cannot take it liao... the pressure is too much for me liao...as usual the giving up feelings come again... without hesitation i choose not to give up... i choose this path,i won't just give up like tt...
Went to work...saw lao po zai... give out my hundred percent to support her... she the onli one i work with i can give hundred percent one... cos i like her the most... childish... i wan to get nearer to her... not onli as collegue, also as friends... of cos i think abit else wise la... in the end she indeed think else wise... she's a good actoress i guess... the format of facial expression is so different from others when come to rejection of certain things... perhaps i dun understand her enough ba... nvm... as long she's happy today... the reason y she cried yesterday is becos ppl accused her... i dunno who la, but the problem is my bro teach me one thing when i'm young...my dad always like to accuse ppl... i kanna accused... my bro says, it's very silly to cry when ppl accuse u, cos it's a way tt u admit tt u do wrong... if u nvr do wrong then y the fuck u cry? so when i grow up i think this way... if i failed myself i will cry,sad, but if ppl accuse me call them go fuck spider... i'm like tt...when grow even older i found tt this way is not correct... it's correct la, but will make life even more tough... being accuse means something bad happened n ppl's at fault,not ur fault, but ppl will always push to others... in any case like tt, must c situation la, can carry the fault then just carry just to reach the aim u wan... world is fuck up... so in ways of surviving, i also become fuck up... tt's y... alot of principle in life really can bend untill 180 degrees de,just becos of situation....
Went back home, watch bleach, halfway knock out...too tired... then ting call me...first thing is "ccb!!!" tt is one of the key word tt will instantly ignite the fire in a tired person...but i nvr fuck her back immediately... it's becos of ade la... i can confirm one thing, i'm not at fault for keeping the secret...ade tell me the news call me dun say out, i nvr say out got wrong meh? ccb... this is the second time in life i show my temper to her loh... everybody got their secret to keep, even to their closest,even if u not happy then come fuck me for wat? u wan to scold just scold ade la... she wants to keep wat... somemore u got think for her anot? she is someone so kind tt won't like to let her problems go to others de...i know i say i will help her, but she won't even let me help...expected...but of cos i have my way, tt one later then say.... problem is her character is like tt wat, tt's y i love her so deep tt time... u understand anot? u got think of my fucking feeling anot? i know u got... but not as first picture, i also got think of ur feeling, but i can't do a shit also... i onli can say i'm not angry now... but now we like bi bin already loh... i really treasure this friendship of urs... but.... u just ignite the bomb in me... all this shit begins with eve, yaorong,then after tt link to sandra, zhe... i already fucking down the cliff liao... then now becos of this u come fuck me upside down... i realli very pain loh... seriously speaking, didn't i show my love to eve b4? didn't i treat yao rong as my bro b4?just becos i scare to lost tt's y i suspect...my fucking fault... i know... i'm sorry... didn't i show my love care concern to shiman n zhe? go ask them n ans from heart... have anot? i always try to treat them good,money or wat ever nvr really go kay kao... sad feelings i also try not to show them,so wat the fuck now?n u? jer? becos of u i ever hate him so fucking alot u know? wan to kill him too... becos of his father, becos of the memories with him becos u love him, now leh? try my best to help him, try my best already... u leh?tell me now la...didn't i care for u enough? becos of u i quarrel with eve how many times liao? i really dun understand... bringing my heart out to love all of u n wat the fuck i get now? i'm more than disappointed... i dun hate u all.... u all go think... dun get the ball i also lan lan suck thumb... still think i tt fuck up i'm a loser just go ahead... we shall c.... life's short but dun ends here.... c who's right who's wrong... i trust,i'm right... c in the future who will get struck by the fucking lightning of gulit n regret... i had enough already.... i'm shutting up already... i'm a human too... i got my emotion... n at this rate i will get no where.... i will not accomplish wat i wan, i will not be able to protect anything.... i shut up...