Saturday, July 28, 2007

"Burning CROSS in the July rain"(Spanish)

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Anybody notice y the hell i'm down here writing blog neh?Friday midnight...a time for lots of ppl to go chiong...for me to chiong work...THEN Y THE FUCK I'M DOWN HERE!!!haiz...i do differently from my plan ya?today schedule,12pm-6pm at my day work place...7pm-4.30am at my midnight work place...haiz...i change my mind...i quit...ya since i quit i will say tt name out...Zouk...down there as bartender...locker also take liao...ccb...n i analyse it's the best to work both place,so....aiya alot of reason la...go read yesterday's entry...(as if anybody will read)but now...haiz...firstly,i have limit...i psycho myself till i'm like a robot...but till my heart shakes again at work place,i start to think...my timing got problem...erm...the prove tt i got limit is when i decided to quit tt time,i start to relax my brain...then i start to ah-chiu non-stop...reach home tt time already fever...slight la hor,dun worry...muscle start to ache,eyes start to blur...take a nap then feel better...haiz...then where the problem with my timing?first,adjusting the day n night life so frequently confirm will get sick easily...i dunno others la,but for me is like tt...then i will be very restless...second,at zouk there the music damn loud loh...frequently my ear will have funny sound...third,if i pack my time so pack,i won't have time for self study,since i finally pick up reading liao...fourth,i'm actually not tt tired,but i'm very sian...no life,boring...something is lost there...although now i also serve net listen music,but better than nothing...at least can find ppl to chat online...somemore now got a few more friends liao,wanna find ppl out also not difficult...fifth,ippt window closing soon...i have to do some training...my condition now,i really can't expect much,can pass very good liao...so if i fail,i should go for RT this time liao...so if i go RT,even more time wasted...so,i should make use of the time once again...self study now is very important to me,cos i gonna learn something important in future...haiz,must have the self disipline n determination la...if not,realli die liao...haiz..

Just now sitting on the floor n enjoy the music player's music on the street...take a rest for my eyes...erm,can feel a funny heat coming from inside me...how long i didn't sleep liao...erm...i do rest on my table la,but when is the last time i really sleep on my bed?around a week ba...n when is the last time i really rest n sleep peacefully?i dunno...haha can't remember leh...realli...cos doesn't matter la...cos i haven't die,so no need rest in peace...the day will come...haiz...the heat is burning me...n suddenly,the little droplets of rain came n cool me off,bit by bit...july rain,always so demoralizing...the fire had gone off again...time to rest,n think again about the confusion in me...i'm still so immature...rest,so i can go further,n further...actually i love my bed alot neh...hoho...