Wa...today notice i got 202 friends in friendster... ting onli got 206.... normally this kind of things gals should have more right? but y i have so much... somemore she's tt kind of sociallising one... erm... cos i know more n more ppl le ba... haha dun think it's too good... still ok la... when got problem hope can help out each other... but felt tt my existance is not a good thing...
I ever think of this... if i not born, perhaps the world will be better... think alot of ppl thinks the same... eve also think b4... especialy for me now... how i wish i did not exist... things may be good ba... haha of cos i can say i did give in to my environment happiness la... thinking tt if i don't exist this question itself is so childish... but i'm so tired.... always tired... i know y le... my heart is tired... after so many things, really feel like sleeping forever... but my times' still not up ba... cruel to say i have to carry on... sucks...
Was pretty sad today... out of a sudden, miss her alot... someone i may not love now... someone walk through with me alot...now she's gone... i dunno wat else i did wrong, but i know missing her is not wrong... none of others business...i'm not wrong...she can't stop me, he can't stop me... their existance is true...ting's msn put,'it takes a lifetime to built a relationship,but takes a second to break it...' pretty true...for me,'it takes me long time to love someone,also takes me long time not to love tt someone'
Ever think of finding a replacement,sorry la miss chandra... how silly i am.... lucky she nvr fall for me...so, not to do anything stupid like this... got some feeling for someone... but b4 i step in, i reject...cos it's impossible... same thing will happen again n again... b4 i step in i must reject... cos i dun worth it anymore... ever felt tt, when she's with me, i felt tt i'm someone worth to be love... b4 tt i doubt, now i confirm i dun worth it le... so,ya i'm single... but i'm not available... dunno till when... i realli dunno... ya i'm a loser... after so long still stay here... dunno y... cos i love her ba... i realli wanna tell her this last time... i realli regret nvr let her know..."loving u makes me happy everyday..."
Yaya... kanna struck by the lightning of regret n guilt.... everyday... shiok... ya everything is my fault la... i regretted...none of u r wrong u c...so dun feel sad or regret...but till the end, i still have to stand up... cos there's ppl tt still cares n feels for me... thanx ah...i didn't die becos u all r there... cos u all give me this life... hope i realli can move out of other ppl's life...to other's now i will just be a hi bye friend la...
Ting,actually i wanna contact u la... but just felt tt i not there better ba...after the storm of u n jer...i didn't do much... but now i think he would really regret wat he did to u...like how i regret... good to have u giving him another chance...at least he won't feel the same way like me... thanx for having my advice...at least he's happy now...n he will be the one who make u happy...i dun wan to be in ur life anymore...cos i'm tired...i'm really really tired...i can't take it anymore...doesn't mean we r not friends...but just like the time when i'm with eve,not getting too close to u guys...this time round think u all will be doing fine le ba...i love u guys too... take care...
Now i know...a small part of me can't let go...i'm just using present to cover up the past...possible for others, not for me... i love them n i wish they r happy...but i dun wanna c them... cos it's realli painful....i'm not so generous...so best if i dun ever c them untill....i dunno...i need tt love...i start to imagine future...someone....so blur...can't c her face...dunno who...she will be the one...maybe onli in dreams ba...i'm again using the future to cover the past...future is a mystery...so there's another point y i live till tml... living,it's not pointless...
I'm waiting... eve u remember tt song... hehe rip it from cd le...ur ipod still have this song ma? name is 'Hitomi no Juunin', 'In the eye', "瞳の住人"... my favourite song u remember? dun think u will... it's still my favourite... anyway i can sing liao... u won't be able to hear... i'm now waiting for the person tt fit to hear me sing this song,n tt fit to be in my eyes to come...