Today can say the worst day at my work place..PR open by joey...100.45...fuck...n it's my table...means company lose tt money becos of me...wat happened...was chatting with ang mo guest...haha my pr skills getting better...then they happy happy so i take order...everything ok,then i repeat order...they say ok~~~yeah,go key in super fast speed...check again....then double check one more time...scare wrong,cos long table..yeah everything correct...hoho,phoebe call me go eat...i happy hand over to d-jay,then go eat liao...come back tt time azrol tell me i in deep shit...something cock up on table 13...huh?i double check triple check liao still wrong?!?wtf...anyway azrol is one of the best supervisor there...he is my teacher...got tie hair one...but realli friendly n patient...even he kanna scold or embarrased he still can laugh...respect...i go back,kanna say by lynn again...na bei..after tt kanna say by joey again...heng her pr acc still got 900+ after she give tt one...then phoebe also shake head...in the end kanna call to annex by anthony...
Haiz...20 mins tok...this 20 mins he put me deep to the bottom of no where...in his eyes,i'm still zero...i requested to go on floor,so his expectation will be higher...so...his main point is he can't c my heart in service...he can't c my smile...fuck....i can't smile not becos i'm tired after long hours...not becos of supervisor's strict n sacarstic scoldings...it's myself...i'm crazy...how to smile?ah siao....keke...after tt phoebe speak to me about the problems...i indeed make mistake,i miss out the kids steak...cos he having a fucking pizza himself,n order one more new york steak...he's not fat ok...still can sit on her mum's leg...either they treat him like prince if not he is a monster...haiz...second is the kitchen also give wrong order...3rd is the guest also acknowledge the wrong order...fuck...think they know themselves...so b4 leave they give d-jay 23 bucks of tips...n d-jay gives me...she just wanna cheer me up...well...it's ok...spend it on my supper at brewerkz...can c joey's face already not happy liao...now i give money company leh...anyway,azrol help me sign my beer n ice cream...bro,u best man...still lend me jacket so i can sit alfresco...
Was thinking this...anthony say...even i serve the staff tt work here,i must serve them like others...i sit down there order,like normal guest...no coaster...nvm,candy dun have it with her...condiments correct...food come...eat finish no check back...table lots of rubbish nvr clear...nvr smile...no eye contact...wave hand nobody c for half a min...i say like tt not onli shoot candy...include,robin,station captain...felicia,floor supervisor...joey,floor manager...best...then y the fuck anthony wan me to be on tt standard...he says,"alvin,i believe u can do it...tt's y i always wan u in...3 months time,prove me tt u realli worth it..."y me again...y i so special?faith...for wat reason they have faith in me?i can't even smile....fuck...onli way...force myself to smile naturally...realli have to put tt mask...deep from my heart...easiest way,change my point of view...be sensitive to guest mood...be sensitive to superior's motive...they fuck me, they swan me or wat...is becos they wan me to grow...change tt point of view,n things can be more acceptable...all the past,make me grow to this stage,no matter how hard,no matter how pain,i grow n moves on...n i will smile...wat a way to force a natural smile...haha...
Was chatting with von von during today break...disturb her reading...haha...just feel good talking to her...erm...remember wat she says..."u dun need to live for others...live for urself first...u have to make urself happy..."think tt's the point...so long nvr really love myself liao...so...sleep early...tml cannot late again liao...