Ha,today first time work closing...blur blur dunno wat to do...ppl also dun believe i first time do closing...runner all the way also...haiz...think i kanna condemn liao la...fuck it...just continue with my best,untill cannot continue...
These few days,was thinking...about the past again...realli loh,she leave a hole in my heart...those happy time,those tough time,those sad time...feel so hollow now...almost half a year liao...still so hollow...not abit lesser...now hear her voice...the feeling is like,pissed loh...dunno y...she's already like this...perhaps realli need to be like wat she say...just be strangers...was thinking how much i love her tt time...tt's y when she leave me with tt kind of ending,i hate her so much...ya,if i dun care n wish her happy,i will not hate her...but which one is love?i put in so much commitment n kanna betrayed i will be filled with wrath...if i just wan tt person to be happy,n kan kai,i won't be so angry...which one is love?i dunno...there r so many ppl around me, no matter guy or gal,i just hope they r happy,n do things tt will make them happy...is this call love?i always wanna do more things for a gal,do alot of happy things with tt gal,n of cos hope tt she could do some things in return to make me happy,or even just appreciate wat i had done for her is good enough...wat i wan in return is just a simple hug...someone to realli love me when i sleep n get prepare for tml tough work...if it's realli like this,no matter tml how tough,i dun even feel a pinch...
All the while so tired,not becos i not enough sleep...just tt i'm so alone now,tt i feel so tired...no need everyday stay with me,once in a week or even once in a month...enough,just hope tt i could hug her when i sleep...i know,there r so many ppl around me tt i can try to get close,try to start a spark...but scare when i start,everything is not as i expect...everything maybe another lie...everything,i maybe bluffing myself again...i'm scared to be disappointed again...scare to get hurt again...
The hole in my heart is making me crazy...i can be very nice,very calm,very loving...but becos of tt hole,i can be realli crazy...just like...when something is created...but it's not like wat u expect...disappointing u...u will just wanna destroy it...goes crazy,anything around me will be destroy...i will hate everything...i dunno...now stuck in between...but i still knows...there's a route in front...i must carry on...told myself,after tt day,everything will be as normal...as one year plus ago like tt...